Lottie's story
Lottie (name changed to preserve anonymity) is a seven-year-old girl who was referred to our service by school for very low self-esteem (calling herself “a horrible and bad, bad girl”) who struggles to regulate her emotions and control her behaviour.
Lottie would shout, grab, hit out at others and had thrown furniture and toys at adults and children in the classroom. Anger was a key emotion and outbursts took place both at home and school.
Lottie lived at home with mum and her three-and-a-half-year-old younger sibling who has severe autism and is non-verbal. Dad had previous issues with drugs and alcohol and had served a nine-month prison sentence. Lottie experienced this as a sudden loss of dad and was unaware of the circumstances. Dad was very much involved in the children’s life and spent a lot of time in the family home although not technically living there.
Lottie had a diagnosis of ADHD and ODD and was awaiting assessment herself for ASD.
It was clear from the beginning that Lottie was a fiercely independent little girl with a very determined nature. She engaged readily with the sessions and made full use of the equipment. She was overwhelmed by the freedom the room and counsellor offered her and was very reluctant to leave at the end of the session. It became quickly obvious that she needed constant and consistent boundaries especially around leaving the room at the end of sessions. She frequently checked in as to how much time was left in sessions and made sure she used every minute. She expressed concern that the counsellor might forget her and often asked her if she was remembered. She also frequently checked that objects she had made previously were still in her therapeutic, containing box and that favourite toys, including specific Lego figures, were still there and configured correctly. The importance of never taking anything for granted and innate prejudice was highlighted to the counsellor who automatically referred to fighting Lego figures as ‘he ‘and was called out on this by the child, “why do you always call them he?” She then buried an obviously girl figure in the sand, talking about the figures being ‘normal’. She told me she was angry with her sister and had pushed her. As sessions developed, she talked about being lonely at home and having no-one to play with as her sister had autism.
The child moved from being independent of the counsellor to including her in her play and using her as a voice with mum. A particular session close to the end of the allotted number saw the child filling a worry monster with marbles till they overflowed, and it was sick. This session then culminated with the child announcing in a that ‘mummy doesn’t love me’. It was said with such power and emotion. The counsellor asked the child if she would like her to talk to mummy about how she felt and she did. The child however could not contain herself and blurted it out when the counsellor took her to chat about it together. A very moving moment for all concerned and the discussion that followed was very open and honest.
Lottie’s last session was difficult for her, and she tried to cram as many different activities in as possible. Things also went constantly wrong, a bumped head and a paper cut. At the parent session mum expressed her gratitude for the support and completion of the Goodman Strengths and Difficulties Questionnaire showed a 12-point improvement with the areas of emotions and conduct showing the greatest shift. Mum and dad also took Lottie on a holiday abroad by herself for a week, total undivided attention.